“People have decided how they are going to perceive her. No matter how many times she smiles, they’ll put in the one picture where she’s not smiling.” - Robert Pattinson
I’M SORRY BUT I CAN’T NOT REBLOG THIS
Why did you do it? Why did you think it was ok, did you think it was ok and did you even care? I was only four when you met me… did you decide then and there that you would do it? was it because of what I was wearing, because people always say that’s it?… but I was at church in a dress past…
Why did you do it? Why did you think it was ok, did you think it was ok and did you even care? I was only four when you met me… did you decide then and there that you would do it? was it because of what I was wearing, because people always say that’s it?… but I was at church in a dress past my knees with my hair in pigtails. When you did it, did you feel anything towards me? I was always scared of you… did you care, did you feel empathy, did you even see me as human? Did you see me as someone who would be affected? Or was it one big game for you?
it was a nightmare for me! I only just stopped getting the flashbacks…. and I am beginning to learn to love myself, but it’s hard, because you used me and now part of me feels like that’s all I’m good for… I can’t trust anyone to come near me and even when I am hugged I flinch. It’s hard knowing that you affected my life so much, and I had little or no importance to you… I just didn’t matter!
The scars will stay forever, the lines on my skin that I carved in, because of you! The nights I spent with my head in a toilet bowl, because I was trying to fill the empty space in my soul with food, it never worked, only made it worse! The memories are still there, the memories of the darkest nights when a bottle of pills seemed to be my only way out. The times you abused me and took away my innocence and childhood, and my dignity! The nights I couldn’t sleep for fear that you would come and hurt me again… I will always remember those things.
But that’s not all, I actually want to thank you! I am so much stronger now, I am a fighter, You ruined my life and took away the person I was from me, but I built my life back up and I made myself who I am today. I have been through hell and have come out the other side.
Mainly though, I just want to know why?